Make It A Strength
by whisper-the-truth
Summary: After watching Kill shot, i was curious of what Beckett was thinking. I suck at summaries but please give it a chance. Disclaimer: I don't own Castle


**Based on Season 4, Kill shot.**

**When I was watching this episode, I was curious on what Beckett was thinking. I thought I would write what I would be thinking.**

**Disclaimer: A girl can dream, can't she?**

**Make It A Strength.**

"_You think it's a weakness? _

_Make it a strength; it's a part of you,_

_So use it."_

" Espo, what are we doing back here?" I asked, confusing on why Esposito had bought me here.

"You want to show you something." He said reaching for something behind the bench, taking out a rifle.

"What is that?" I asked, not breaking eye contact from the weapon.

"It's a rifle." Espo clarified, "That shot you."

I flinched a little. Why would he…? How is that…?

"You are way out of line."

"Just look at it." He told me, stepping towards me.

I took a few steps back, "No. What the hell are you doing?"

Tears were forming in my eyes. Why would he do this to me? Why would he even think to show me that… that _thing._

"I've been where you are. I know what you're going though." He reminded me.

" Javi, I'm fine." I tried to make it found like it was the truth but even I could see right through that.

"You're not fine." He said, raising his voice a little, forcing me to listen to him.

I tried to assure him, I tried to speak but nothing came. Maybe he was right. Maybe.

" You're just trying to act like you are." He stated, " This is just a tool."

He held up the rifle. "It's a hunk of steel. It has no magical powers and the person who fired it, is not some all-powerful god. Just a guy with a gun, just like the guy we're hunting now, and like any other bad guy, he's damaged goods."

_Damaged goods._

There was a few seconds silence. He continued to look at me, trying to get me to see the truth. I knew what he was waiting for.

"So am I." I forced.

"That's right and that's okay." He reassured, " You think it's a weakness? Make it a strength. It's a part of you." He held up the rifle, wanting me to take it. "So use it."

I looked at the rifle, considering whether to take it or not. I let a tear fall and stepped forward. I hesitantly reached for it.

What's the worse that could happen just by touching it? It wouldn't hurt me. It _won't _hurt me. Not without someone else pressing the trigger.

_It will not hurt me. _Espo already has shown me that.

I slowly took the weapon from Esposito.

oOCASTLEOo

"Why would you shot from here if the roof gave you a cleaner shot?" I asked aloud.

Why wouldn't he shot from the roof? It's not like he wouldn't find it easier to hit his target.

I opened the door and came out onto the roof. The fresh air was new, unlike the air from inside. I looked to my right as I stepped out of the door.

There's the ladder.

I used my right arm first as I pulled myself up, starting to climb but when I started with my left I pulled on my scars.

"Ugh!"

That _freaking _hurt. There was no way I was going to get to the roof like this. Not without hurting myself. It would be impossible for someone with a physical disability to get onto the roof…

_A physical…_

_Oh!_

_oOCASTLEOo  
_

"Even if you're right, it doesn't get us any closer to catching this guy." I heard Espo say to Ryan and Castle as I entered the coffee shop.

"It might if we ask the right questions." I said walking up to the three of them.

I looked at Espo and smiled, _Thank-you._

He smiled back.

"He didn't shot from the roof because he couldn't climb the ladder." I clarified, " If you look at the video, there's a slight hitch in his step. I think he has a physical disability."

Castle called over the Shops Manger, "Robert, does this ring a bell? A guy with a limb or a leg injury."

The manger came over to us, "There is a homeless guy who has been hanging around the past few weeks. I think he has a prosthetic leg."

Espo looked at me.

"We're going to need a description."

I felt Castle looking at me so I looked at him. He smiled.

I didn't need to ask what he was thinking. I already knew.

**There you go!**

**Lately I can understand what it was like for Beckett, I've having panic attacks as well. It's proving not to be the easiest thing to get though.**

**Anyway… **

**Love it? Hate it?**

**Let me know in a review.**

**Whisper.**


End file.
